Birth Story!

I sit here with a little 7 lb human being on my shoulder. I feel like I left planet earth and have landed on new ground. I was addicted to reading birth stories while I was pregnant, and I am excited to share mine. This has been a hard year for me spiritually, and I wish I could say that having a baby instantly gave me perspective and answers to all the questions I've been asking of God. It hasn't. But I knew the moment a warm squishy human being shot out of me, that I could never be the same, or see the world in the same light. Having a baby is completely life changing in every way; which is often said, but now I really know.

I have a tendency to prefer old-school, natural, down to earth methods to some of the ways technology and inventions have changed things: from cleaning products to the way my food is grown. When I got pregnant in August, I knew that I would want a natural birth, and so I ate up every resource I could get my hands on. I felt well prepared for the birth of Anna Joy and didn't experience much anxiety about the labor. I was under the care of an awesome group of midwives and had a healthy pregnancy. Still, I didn't really enjoy being pregnant like I thought I would, and it brought on a lot of worry that I didn't expect. I had a very pessimistic attitude in my heart that all my friends would have wonderful births and beautiful babies and that mine would end up terrible and that the baby would have some kind of problem or abnormality. I battled in my mind to know that God loves me and that no matter what the outcome of this pregnancy, he is good and knew what I needed. But in my heart I doubted if he really cared about the desires of my heart, and wondered what secret punishment or hard lesson he had in store for me. When will I learn that he is full of mercy? When will I learn how he DELIGHTS to give me good gifts? I don't know.

I was sure all along that Anna Joy would come about 3 weeks early. John's brother is getting married on May 30th and I figured I needed a good month to get used to being a mom before that big event rolled around. Anna Joy would understand and oblige to coming out of her cozy coccoon just a little earlier than expected. I mean, that's not so much to ask, right? I ignored my midwives who told me that first time babies often come a little later. Well, that might be true for other mommies, but not for me.

So I was a little annoyed when my due date came and I didn't even have any signs that labor would be starting soon. At 38 weeks I decided to stop going to work. My days were spent trying to clean to get ready for the baby and stock up on food. Just after I got everything perfect and ready the food would run out and my house would be dirty again. I watched lots of movies, and slept with not guilt. I was determined to be well rested for labor. My frustration turned into thankfulness. I was enjoying my last few days before mommyhood.

Being a first time pregnant lady, I was so anxious to know how my labor would start. Would my water break in the middle of the grocery store? Would I wake up in the middle of the night with contractions? How would it start, and how would I know that it was real?

From here on out I might share some things that seem TMI, so don't continue reading if you will be grossed out.

On Tuesday, May 12th (four days after her May 8th due date) I woke up and went to the bathroom and was excited to have bloody show. Yay! Things are starting to happen! I told John we would have a baby in the next 24 to 48 hours. He told me not to get too excited. He is a smart man. We went about our day as normal, and to my dismay, not much happened. Not contractions. No water breaking. Nada. The next day, Wednesday, I had an appointment with my midwives at 2 PM. I had a couple of contractions that morning, but nothing strong or consistent. My midwife checked me and I was dilated 2 cm. She said she hoped to see me the next morning with a baby in my arms. I left the appointment really excited and called my Mom. My parents live two hours away so they decided to leave work early and come "up the mountain."

Around 4:30 in the afternoon I sat down to watch Deal or No Deal and decided to time my contractions. They still weren't painful, but they were coming consistently 3 minutes apart and lasting about 40 seconds. They say you should check in with your midwives when your contractions are less than 5 minutes apart for over an hour. I knew I wasn't in serious labor yet because I wasn't in serious pain. My parents, however, were really pushing me to go the hospital. I tested positive for Group B Strep. It is a common bacteria that women can have in the birth canal. The baby can catch it on it's way out if the mother is not given antibiotics during labor. The mother needs to receive at least two doses of antibiotics four hours apart via IV during labor in order to eliminate most risk of the baby contracting the strep. Anyways. long technical explanation, but that's why my parents were pushing me to go the hospital.

So after we had dinner out, we went to the hospital around 8:30 or 9. I was checked and was still at 2 cm. No change from earlier in the afternoon. They said we could stay and walk the halls and see if anything changed, but I preferred to go home and try to rest. We got home around 10 and caught the last bit of the Lost Season finale. My contractions were still regular and progressing in the intensity level, but they were still very tolerable. We went to bed around 11. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. The contractions were too distracting and getting stronger. I took a shower and got on the birth ball in the living room and watched a Shirley Temple movie. I was so unsure of when to go back to the hospital. I was afraid of going back and being told there was still no change, but I was also afraid of not going there in time.

Around 4:30 in the morning I told John I was ready to go back. They checked me and I was barely at 3 cm. I was disappointed because I thought they would send us home again, and I wanted to stay and have access to their unlimited hot water. The shower felt so good! Thankfully, they offered to give us a room. I was so relieved and after we were admitted I immediately got in the shower.

So now it's Thursday. We're walking the halls, taking showers, getting on the birth ball, getting in the hot tub, filling out paperwork, getting antibiotics. I was starting to get exhausted. I had been up all night with very little change. Thursday night, around dinner time, after a long time in the tub, I was checked and I was still only at 4 cm. I was devastated and started to lose it because I knew how much further I had to go, and how intense things were going to get and I was absolutely sleep deprived and worn out.

It was here I started talking crazy talk. I told my midwife I wanted to go home. She told me I could, but that I was still going to have contractions. I had been absolutely dead set against getting an epidural, knowing that they too often lead to c-sections. But 4 cm is not much in the labor progress, and I had been at this for over 24 hours. Thankfully, my husband knew that even if I was talking about an epidural, it was not what I wanted nor what I needed.

I received the biggest blessing of the whole labor process around 11 pm Thursday night: nubaine. I was so afraid to take it. Fear was taking over all my thinking at this point. I was afraid I would have a weird reaction to it and vomit. Exhausted and in labor, I did not want to add throw up to the mix. But John knew I needed to sleep a little bit to be refreshed. He helped me know it would be ok and so they put it in my IV. It's not a pain killer, but helped me rest. I would still wake up and moan during my contractions, but in between I was dead to the world. The nubaine lasted a couple hours and when I "woke up" I felt like I had slept a whole night. I was totally refreshed. I got back in the tub and labored there until about 2 in the morning. I was checked again and was at 6 cm.

After this things seemed to move really fast. I forgot to mention that this whole time I had TERRIBLE back labor. Anna Joy was not turned right and didn't turn right until the very last second. Her hard little scull was pressing like hell against my tailbone. Anyways, I somehow made it down the hall back to my room after the check that found me at 6 cm. I laid on my side in the bed for a while. The contractions were soooo intense at this point. It's not a sharp pain like I thought it would be, but like someone was reaching inside me and squeezing me to death.

Finally I really started feeling like I needed to push. My midwife had gone home for the evening and was called back in. I was checked again and was at 8 cm.

I got on the birth stool and labored there. I finally started to get the urge to push. I told my midwife and she told me just to do whatever my body told me. It felt SO good to push. It was my favorite part of labor. It is a crazy urge like needing to throw up, you can't really control it too much. After the birthing stool I got on all fours on the bed. The baby's heart-rate started to drop during pushing. They were pretty sure the cord was around her neck and so they quickly made me get on my left side and breath through a couple pushing urges (which was SO hard). They called in an extra doctor because they thought they might need to use the vaccum to get her out quickly.

I told my midwife I couldn't breath through anymore and I HAD to push. I moved onto my back and it seemed like within 10 pushes she was born. I am not sure on the number, but it seemed really fast to me. I screamed bloody murder, not because of the pain, but because it was the weirdest sensation to have a live squishy warm human being come flying out of me. They immediately put her on my chest and there is a video you can watch of me saying "No way, no way, no way! you made me so tired!"

I started to hemorrhage after she was born. I felt the blood gushing out and new it was no good, but my midwife was so awesome and took care of business getting me pitocin right away. I tore a little and was stitched up, but nothing bad. I just felt such relief to be done. It felt great that it was over.

I have to say I couldn't have done any of this without my husband. We are truly one, and he was in labor with me, helping me keep perspective, guarding me, being my shield. He was SO SO amazing and between him and my awesome midwife, and the grace of God, I did not get an epidural or hence the c-section that probably would have ensued due to my need to move around when her heart-rate was dropping, and the need to push her out fast.

God was so gracious to us. I am falling asleep writing this long long story and I need to go feed my baby, but I hope that blessed you in some way. We are immensely blessed. I am constantly forgetting and re-learning just how much God loves and listens to me.

Good night.