They forgot to mention...

Whoever "they" are ... they did a very poor job of helping us when we were young. They didn't really mention how hard grown up life is. Maybe "they" are just being protective to the young and naive. However, I think we would have appreciated a little more straight talk to prepare us for the extreme struggle involved in becoming a spouse and a parent.

We have been married three years as of June 7th. We have done a home renovation (twice!), had difficulty finding careers, been in school, had a baby, changed churches, and lived on a very limited income.

We have had a lot of "stressors" which many people all across the world experience. I think, perhaps, ours have come on in a condensed way to where we feel like we haven't had much of a chance to catch our breath between one difficult experience and the next.

However, overall, I don't really believe that we're experiencing things that others haven't. I do believe, however, that our faith makes it harder.

What?!? Come again?!?

Yes. I am aware of how our faith has made the past three years of our life burn like hell. They have burned because He has had us in His refining fire. He has been removing our selfish desires, our quest to build our own kingdoms, our materialism, our self-protective instincts, unhealthy patterns from the past, and much more.

It reminds me of the scene in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Chronicles of Narnia)when Eustace was changed into the dragon. Aslan approaches him to free him from his Dragon skin. Here's an excerpt from the book (Eustace explaining the experience):

"Then the lion said- but I don't know if it spoke - 'You will have to let me undress you.' I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it. The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off."

If we didn't desire to give ourselves over to Jesus we could avoid a lot of pain. It's very painful to let Him take off our dragon skin. At times, we'll admit, we've both wanted to just run away from the Lion and his claws. The situation that is tearing off our dragon skin has largely been our difficult marriage and the knarly parts of our dragon skin our relationship reveals. We could run and deny our knarly skin, self-medicate, and try to create a false sense of peace.

But our Father's way, although vastly more difficult, is the path to freedom and the lovely pure skin he intends for us to have.

I could include lots of scriptures to go along with these thoughts. However, I really want to include one last quote that I think sums all this up very beautifully:

Kahlil Gibran, "The Prophet - On Love"

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

Love,
John & Nicole